well...i may be too tired to write and really i should be reading scriptures or writing in my "book" that i will some day write :)... i am going to feel like a copycat but i have been thinking about my own "perfection conundrum" ... i have written about my children, my husband and my sisters... and i believe i have painted a perfect picture of them. we are not. they are not. nobody in this life will or can escape the burdens and trials given to us. the beautiful thing is that we survive them, we grow stronger, we create beauty despite our imperfections and heavy loads we carry in this life... my sister wrote me a letter... i wish i could find it so i could repeat what she said... but to paraphrase: the beauty of life doesn't come from shooting a par four when we are feeling our best... but it is when we are stumbling... our knees bloodied... crawling forward ... moving forward despite the wounds and the pain... that is when life teaches the most... we show our true strength and the true light/beauty/intelligence we carry within us shines. she wrote this to me when i felt most like a victim... when the burdens i was carrying were truly heavy ... i felt friendless and unbeautiful in every way... the image of her words were encouraging though... i could see myself crawling. i could see that i was weak. but i could also see that i was going to move forward still and accomplish good things in my own plodding and crippled way.
i am no longer a victim but only because i choose to not be one... i am glad i am able to choose.
i did get off topic...
what i was really trying to say is that yes... yes i do romanticize and perfecticize things too (and i try to invent new words, i am shakespeare! thank you! :)... i probably won't talk too much about the imperfections of those around me... it isn't really fair to them... my own imperfections will probably find their own ways of coming through :)
I have two seconds to write back, so don't judge my weak response to your very nice post =) It was nice to read on a day I felt bad for yelling at Tate, "go to SLEEP!" and dumping him on his bed. Then the guilt of yelling, because that's not me, but I've gone crazy and it's his fault =) Anyway, we all slept for over two hours and are renewed!
ReplyDeleteno worries... it actually makes me feel really good knowing it was helpfu... i was wondering if i was being too personal or not... but if it helped then it is ok :)...
ReplyDeletetoday has been my bad parenting day... i think captain hook would have trembled at my meanness, with all my grumblings and growlings... but it has done nothing to help my children behave better... hopefully i will get some sleep!!! i am SO tired... funny how it makes such a huge difference!