After Christmas and the New Year

 Everything feels like it has moved so quickly.  Frequently, when time seems to be slipping so freely from my grasp, really sand is an apt metaphor for time, I remember a book my father would read to my family when we were all at home, A Lantern in Her Hand.  It is a beautiful story about a girl who becomes a woman and a mother and sacrifices everything for her children.  She gives up her voice, her beauty, her artistic talent all is put aside so she can build a farm, indirectly a country, for her children.  Throughout the book the main character, Abbie, frequently laments the passage of time, in the beginning of the book she says,

"It was queer how it all hurt you, -how the odor of the night, the silver sheen of the moon, the moist feeling of the dew, the whispering of the night breeze, how, somewhere down in your throat it hurt you.  It was sad, too, that this evening would never come again.  The night winds were blowing it away.  You could not stop the winds and you could not stop time.  It went on, - and on."

he would NOT keep his gloves on! and then he would cry because his hands are cold... I am not sure how often I put his gloves back on...we didn't stay out very long though

There have been times when I have felt this need to stop time.  Not all of the moments have been happy ones, some of them have been bitter.  Once, when a friend of mine passed away I wanted time, the world, nature, to stop and mourn with me, it didn't make sense to have everything move forward without her.  Couldn't it stop for a moment?  Just one moment while I gathered everything that seemed so senseless back together to try and make some sense of it all, she died so young.  I knew I would see her again, which eased the pain but did not... take it away.

While some moments may have been bitter there are also some that are infinitely precious.  Now, I have my children and they are growing, how delightful it would be to be able to stop time and drink in the deliciousness of my children, to laugh and play, blow raspberries on their fat little bellies, one more kiss on their chubby, chubby cheek, one more hug around my neck, one more lullaby while they sleep so innocently in my arms... to prolong that moment so that it will be recorded forever, a never forgotten and tangible moment I can carry with me for the rest of my life.  They aren't even grown up yet and I am thinking of when it will be gone, probably because I know that one day it will be and this is the moment I need and want to cherish.  What a good reminder for me, especially when it gets hard as it always does when you are a parent.  Remember what is really valuable and important what you will cherish most in the end and focus on it.