Who are you?

Who are these two boys going to be?  Intelligent, crazy, funny, sweet, imaginative, persistent, stubborn... how does this translate from baby, to toddler, to child to teenager anyway?...I have to admit, teenager is the age I am most worried about.

It is the hardest time of life.  I hope I can prepare them well enough that even if they do make mistakes, they will love themselves, they will love others and be kind to them, they will love God and  know who He is and that they can trust in His forgiveness.  I hope I can be their friend and that they will trust me and talk to me.

 I know I will have to be Mom and watch out for them, take care of them and do hard things like say no, but I really do hope I can be their friend too.  I also know the friendship I want in the future starts today.  It starts with setting boundaries and being consistent, with having a love first attitude and an anger last attitude.  (What I mean is, yes, you will get angry but the anger should never be stronger then the love in your heart and in your actions, give the consequence but give it lovingly and firmly. )

 The way I treat my boys today, will probably be the way I treat them when they are a teenager but amplified.  Thinking of that inspires me to change, it inspires me to not allow my anger and frustration to win... but my love and firmness to win instead.  I am not meaning to be better then anyone else or preach (we all must find our own way as parents)... I work hard on this everyday, because I feel it is right for me, and sometimes, frequently, I fail.

This is a sad little face, he was angry because he couldn't move in his snowsuit :)

But I try again and again until I can be better at it.  There is nothing in this life that I want to be good at as much as I want to be good at being a parent.  I feel so much is in the balance for my children.  The better I am, the more opportunities they will have to be confident and loving, strong individuals who can know there isn't anything in this world that they can't do.

Would there, Could there, be anything sweeter at the end of your life to know your children love themselves, that they serve and love others, and that they love God.  That they have no fear but have love and confidence in all or most of what that they do and say (most because they won't be perfect :).  Awesome.  It would be awesome.

My boys have the potential I know.  My worry is what can I do, and how can I change as a person and a parent to most facilitate this awesomeness? :) That is what I frequently ask myself.  And I frequently find I need to change, but it is so nice when you move a step closer to what you want to be.  I will never be the perfect mom I want to be, all though I will never stop striving for it, but I will allow myself to be okay with it rather than feel guilty about.  It is okay to be imperfect and make mistakes.  It is splendid being able to learn and change.