a new mom please, but eat this first

The other morning we were all cuddling together... Isaac, Asher, Josh and I, we were all postponing getting up and getting Josh to work or school... I don't remember how it came up but Asher told Josh, "We need a new mom"  Josh asked him why and pleading for my case said, "I really like this one"... Asher replied, "this one isn't funny, we need to go to the store and get a funny one." 

 Josh kept trying to convince Asher that I was a good mother worth keeping.  Asher finally conceded and said that I could stay if I would go to the store and bring back some cookies! What a funny, funny boy! (Josh just asked Asher who the best mom in the whole world is, Asher promptly replied, "my mom!" ... good boy... good boy :)

Isaac is growing and changing so much, he is walking more and more, making new words and new sounds,  and just... how do I put my finger on it... changing... as if he turned one and all of a sudden there was more that he could do, more he could say, more little boy then baby.  They grow so quickly.  We are interacting more together and it is so much fun. 

 The other day he came up to me with the crayons he had been sucking on and tried to put them in my mouth.  Recently, that is how he gives things to me.  He will come up with a car, toy, or book and bam! I am eating whatever he thinks I should share with him.  I think he does it because he LOVES eating stuff, it just seems to be the logical thing to do.  Hey mom!  I was just playing with this.  It's great.  Here try it.  No really try it... have a bite! :)

Isaac and the Sprite Bottle

don't worry it isn't sprite... it's water in the sprite bottle he LOVES drinking stuff

isaac's one year birthday blog... with no pics of cake

I seriously and totally love this little boy.  What a blessing he has been to our lives.  So cuddly, so laid back, so determined maybe even super stubborn... but so full of life and love... and I believe he just might be the same sort of tease that josh and asher are. :)

Asher growing

Tonight we had hot dogs.  The gourmet kind. (as gourmet as a hot dog can be anyway).  Isaac and Asher shared one so I cut it in half.  Asher looked at the cut end of his hot dog switched it around and said, "Look! My hot dog has a mouth."  He then proceeded to make the hot dog talk and then turned to me and said, "That is pretty funny isn't it?"  Later, during the dinner he made the hot dog talk again and had the hot dog say, "Asher is eating me! He is eating my body! See my tail! It is gone!" (so glad the hot dog had a tail!).  They do things like that where you are just amazed with your children.  Your kids are so normal and just little little people and then they start doing things and your like, "wow! your comprehension and your ability to create is far and beyond what I thought it could be!"  Not that you think they are stupid or unintelligent I believe mine to be VERY intelligent.  Being so little and not always expressing themselves like adults, you start to think that their thinking process is different then your own, but then you find out it is not so very different after all.

At this point in Asher's life, he is in LOVE with Lightening Mcqueen.  We bought him one for a prize for pooping in the toilet, just a small car.  I thought of getting him a different hot wheel for every poop put in the potty but I decided it would be too expensive.  Instead,  we gave him Lightening Mcqueen the first time he correctly accomplished the deed in the toilet.  After that, if he didn't poop in the toilet, we would take Lightening back until he pooped where he was supposed to.  Lightening had some lonely days left up top of the refrigerator, but finally asher figured it out.  Poop in the toilet keep the car.  Poop in his pants (or in Mom's shirt on the floor(I threw the shirt away... it was ugly anyway... I suppose that is why he choose that one to poop in) and all he talks about is how lonely Lightening is without his friends on top of the refrigerator.  In the end, I feel like it was a good parenting technique.  Although, in the beginning I had my doubts.

  I unwisely enough, had Asher with me in the store when I bought Lightening, which led to a VERY lengthy (all day) conversation (with me repeating myself constantly) about how Asher wanted the car and how he had to poop to get it. (ha ha, poop to get it, so not a consecutive line of thought) I believe there were some tears and tantrums involved, and while I did regret getting the car at that time, I did not cave, I withstood the most powerful weapons given to mankind, a child's tears, and did not give him what he wanted at that time.... he had to work for it :)  So, now Asher is pretty much potty trained, unless he is in his pull ups... which is for night time use or extensive trips and peeing only.
I love that I am a mother that talks about poop.  So glamorous :)

Also, Asher had shown that he is like me... at least a little.  He sings songs.  Makes them up on his own, mostly about cars or boy stuff, while I sang songs about... I don't know actually... but I sang to horses, cows, puppies, chickens, kittens, at church in the front lawn... sometimes I would dance too... anyway.  He also likes to dance and has danced a few times on the table at the park, an activity I thought was reserved for wild and crazy rebellious teenagers or people who had gone completely starkers.  My three year old son can now be added to the condoned list of people who may dance on tables willie nillie.

caught in the rain

this was the storm coming, it was fun watching it roll in

the wet blanket 

despite it all Isaac fell asleep

sweet

this was how hard the rain was falling

so cute! :)

we got stuck about 1-2 miles away from our house... while they may have stayed comparatively dry I did not! :)
fun, fun, fun!

Peanut Butter, Jam, Marshmallow Sandwiches

Today, I took a walk up to campus with the kids to go and visit their dad while he did his homework.  We usually just drop in and say hello and then go to the park or go back home.   On nights like this it is the only time josh sees his children, a brief hello, a hug and a kiss and we are gone again. Having left a little bit late, the boys were hungry by the time we started to head back home.  I decided to stop by the BYU bookstore to get a little snack from the little grocery store inside.  After perusing all of our options, we finally decided on a tuna sandwich, a peanut butter, jam and marshmallow sandwich, some chips for us and dad, and one York mint patty for me (my favorite!).  We were standing in line when a young man behind us commented on our peanut butter, jam, and marshmallow sandwich ( I can't remember what, but it was funny/nice).  Nonetheless, feeling a little chagrined for buying junk for my kids, I smiled and told him that, yes, I had bought this sandwich for my son, but first he had to eat half of the tuna sandwich... it is one of my rules to eat something healthy before you have junk.  I then confessed my guilt (I am sure he didn't care but sometimes my mouth keeps going even when I tell it to stop :) about being a bad mom buying bad food for their dinner.  The whole conversation was done with humor... but I can't remember exactly what was said. Trying to comfort me he said that it was a lot better then what he was eating, donuts and strawberry milk.  He was hoping it would carry him through his test. Right. Pretty soon the guy behind us had joined in the conversation too and we were all laughing/smiling over the idea that my children would be here one day and doing the exact same thing... you know it starts with a peanut butter, jam, and marshmallow sandwich and then before you know it donuts and ice cream for dinner! (But at least the sandwich was on whole wheat bread right!?)

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By that time it was my turn to pay.  I handed the cashier my card and said, "This isn't my card, it is my husbands... but here is my driver's licence"... I loose mine all the time and for some reason Josh trusts me with his. :)  No one has ever bothered me about it at all the other stores I frequent so, I didn't imagine it would be important this time.  For some reason, in this place they would NOT accept it at ALL ( and I can understand why).  It is so embarrassing to be at the head of the line, rejected and denied, your un bought groceries looking dismally, tauntingly back at you. As we were heading out Asher started crying... not tantrum crying... but hunger crying... "Mom, I am hungry! Where is my marshmallow sandwich?"...only adding to the embarrassment and sadness of the situation... Trying to alliviate the tenseness I told the guy behind me, with a smile (at least I hope it was a smile)... "Well, now you can have the sandwich instead of the donuts!"... We left as quickly as possible because Asher was hungry and expressing his hunger with waterworks.  Normally, when he is crying, yelling or throwing a tantrum I stop and explain the situation before moving on but this time I just wanted out and away from all the staring eyes.  As we were walking back to Josh's building, to see if he would come and buy the sandwich for Asher,  I heard footsteps coming behind me and someone threw the PBJM Sandwich on top of our stroller... and a voice said,  "here... here is your peanut butter sandwich!" The young man behind us had bought the sandwich, ran after us, thrown it on top of the stroller and then took off running (before we could stop him).. Turning around, I yelled a thank you and found to my surprise that my voice was choked up from keeping the tears back.  He just smiled and waved and kept on running to go and take his test.


In this moment, I felt loved by God.  Not only because someone listened to their heart and served us so graciously, sacrificing time and money so a little boy wouldn't be hungry and so a tired mom could have a fed and happy child, but also because I felt it was God's love for us (all His children) that spurred the action.  If we hadn't had the sandwich we would have survived the night, we would have navigated the sadness and found a way to feed the children.  In the eternal scheme of things a peanut butter, jam, and marshmallow sandwich isn't that big of a deal.  To me, though, this is what is so beautiful.  Heavenly Father probably didn't care about who had the sandwich, but He did care about my son, and He cared about me and all my little mom worries and with a small token act of service, through the hands of one of God's children, our lives were blessed.  Even if it is just knowing that God does care, even about the small details of our lives, this was blessing enough.

Isaac growing and growing

Isaac is not speaking yet.  I mention this first but I am not sure why.  Asher had several words by now, but I am not comparing or at least I shouldn't compare :).  Both are sweet and intelligent in their own ways.  Isaac does speak a few words but nothing normal.  He can say bye and hello, do da, and sometimes it sounds like dad and sometimes mom, we believe he said asher a few times and that, that completes the list. :)  Love it.  He did just figure out the sign language for "all done".  Previously, his way of telling me that he was finished was squawking from his high chair as loud as he could, the higher the decibel the better.

While he may not have a huge vocabulary at this time, he does posses several other talents and favorite activities.  For instance, when he is nursing he loves to stick his finger up my nose.  I know. Seriously.  Finger up my nose, not so much fun. So loving, like curling your long golden hair, or patting your cheek softly, or even holding your finger with their little hands.  Nope.  Finger up the nose.  He also likes to push cars around and make car noises, sometimes he will do the same with little animal toys,and tonight he made noises while flying his bread around like an airplane.  He loves the bathtub and at any available opportunity (if we forget to close the bathroom door) he will rush in to the bathroom and stand by the edge of the bathtub and squeak and squawk(once again the higher the octave the better) and bounce up and down because he is so excited just to be there.

I did think he would be walking by now since he was so fast learning how to crawl,  but it wasn't until the other day he took his first three steps... the first I have seen anyway.  I am one of those mothers that believes that she can be there for ALL of her babies's firsts and should be there.  For me, to not be there is like missing an opportunity to try the best ice cream in the world because you fell into a mud puddle chasing after the ice cream truck, and you are lying there covered in mud, cold, and listening to the music fading slowly but surely away.

 The first step, first word, first attempt at crawling etc etc those are all moments I would like to be there for, I put in the nine months it is my privilege to do so.  I have met a few other mothers who have felt the same and it is validating that I am not alone.  We may be a strange breed of control freaks, but there you go.  I believe I am an optimist and a dreamer.  It feels like an irreplaceable loss to not see it and be a part of those milestone moments.

In all honesty, I cherish my sweet little boy (as I do Asher).  Sometimes I am overcome with this feeling that my house has been blessed with little angels, sometimes mischievous, or crying, or hungry, pouting, wild and crazy angels, but angels none the less.

Sometimes, he will give the sweetest look.  He will tilt his head to one side and smile bashfully, so coy.  Also, when he gets really excited about nursing he coughs and cries until he is eating.  So funny.

Lastly,  he is just so dog gone stubborn.  Take him away from something and he will just come back.  You have to take what he wants and can't have away, hide it, or barricade it and if you barricade it you must adapt it according to his learning and climbing curve.

Some how, along the way, he is emerging from  being a baby and is tilting the balances towards little boy.